On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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