i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
