I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
