I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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