I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
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