He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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