# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
