I need help removing her.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
