i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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