i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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