ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Of course I have a pirate flag
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I would fuck him just for his dog
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
