So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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