i drank out of a bidet.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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