That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
