she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
