it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
My ATM looks so different sober.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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