i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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