I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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