oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Randomize
