God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
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