Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
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