So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
