My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
