I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Randomize
