Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
So vagazzling was a success
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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