Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
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