She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
