Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
