those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
You left your phone here
Wait...
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