left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
