Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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