I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
