Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
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