doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize