the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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