In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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