It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
