ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Drunk walkin through police station. America
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
