Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
