At least make sure they are 18
Why
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize