you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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