I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
