I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize