how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
