There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
