Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Someone shattered a urinal.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
