So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
