I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
