we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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