Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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