would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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