He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
