Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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