she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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