I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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