guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
