Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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