i just google imaged poop.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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