The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
